Oh No…the Big 4-0!

In a matter of weeks I will be hitting what used to be considered a dreaded milestone…the big 4-0. Will I break into tears? Will I start plucking wild ass hairs from my chin? Will Spanx be the first thing I put on in the morning and the last thing{maybe} that I remove at night? Do I have to double the Oil of Olay consumption to fight off the inevitable wrinkles? Will I go out and buy a cherry red camarro with sweet rims and a killer sound system??? To all of these questions I say…HELL NO!!!!

What I WILL do is first, thank the Head Honcho above for getting me this far in life and learning a thing or two, or ten. I’m much dumber now then I thought I was at 18, but smart enough now to realize it.

I WILL put a Magenta streak in my hair, because I’ve always wanted to and now seems like a good time and because purple would just clash with the redness of my hair.

I WILL not give the evil eye hex to the teenager working the cash register who calls me “Ma’am”, but see it as a sign of my maturity and wisdom not!

I WILL stop worrying what people think of me, because, dammit, that just takes to much effort and I’m kinda lazy.

I WILL stop judging people, because as one of my favorite women in the whole world {yes, you Mother} quotes “Be nicer than you need to, everyone is fighting some kind of battle.”

I WILL finish the novel I have started writing {even if it sucks} just to say I wrote 100,000 words which in itself is amazing due to that laziness trait.

I WILL revel in the fact that I’ve made it forty years and am finally halfway comfortable in my not-so-taut skin.

I WILL learn how to speak in front of large groups of people. Still not there yet without several shots of vodka prior to the big event, but am willing to keep working on that sober.

I WILL probably still make mistakes and second guess myself on many things, but that’s half the fun in life.

I WILL regret NOTHING, because, again, I’m too lazy to fret about the past and no amount of hand wringing will change anything. Deal and move on.

I WILL lie through my teeth about being 40, because dammit, I’ve earned the right to!


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